ABOUT THE POEM: "If She is a Doll" is a desperate rumination on the unknowable nature of a former beloved, grappling with two extreme possibilities for her character: isolated purity (a doll) or total debasement (a whore). The narrator struggles with the paralyzing uncertainty of being unable to confirm her true state due to complete isolation. Bound only to "react" to his own internal anguish, the poem expresses the terror of having waited too long to act, fearing that confirmation or feedback is now permanently out of reach.
She is the one who has hated me for that long,
But if she is a doll then she would be alone.
She hold grudges and shows disdain towards me,
But if she’s a whore then there would be a dick in her each hole.
I could eat the fan for air only if I had to be here,
But a candle is just a dead bird,
For a blind man to walk in this night.
A mere thought is not enough,
How can I become certain or how do I confirm this?
Because I can’t contact,
My shout can’t catch,
I am bound to react.
If it ain’t enough to wait for feedback,
I am afraid it’s too late for that.
doll, lol 😉