ABOUT THE POEM: “Gears” is a testament to radical self-reliance, declaring the body and mind as the only kingdom one can truly rule. Forged during 758 days of extreme deprivation in rehab, the poem details the punishing discipline (such as achieving 3,000 squats). It establishes a cyclical engine of self-transformation where the athlete grants character and the philosopher provides meaning. The narrator is reduced to pure mechanism—"only gears remain"—driven by high-octane despair and the need to endure in utter solitude.Since I can’t control anyone else,
I rule the only kingdom I can –
my own body and mind.
In rehab, I lived on four hundred grams a day –
flour, oats, carbohydrates,
nothing else –
for seven hundred fifty-eight days.
Reaching for three thousand squats
in the hush of rehab’s silence –
sixth attempt, I broke through.
Each time, I began from nothing.
The athlete gives the philosopher character.
The philosopher gives the athlete meaning.
That’s the fuel.
I am looking for ignition.
A private engine of transformation,
running on high-octane despair.
I keep feeding it.
I don’t care about the vessel.
The soul burned long ago –
now only gears remain,
chewing themselves to stay alive.
No pet.
No wife.
No children.
No mother.
No sister.
No friend.
No lover.
No god.
No father.
Only me –
Ronie Dinosaur –
talking to the wall.
And the wall,
as always,
stays silent.
Where I calculated –
the final goal –
one hundred fifty eight meters of
run in various bum.
