trauma – Read Poems aka Dinosaurs – Poems by Ronie Dinosaur

Ronie Dinosaur Chapter 127 – What Is Love?

Posted 2 months ago under DINOSAUR, Philosophy, Psychology Tagged: Agency, Alienation, asymmetry, boundaries, chosen deprivation, consent, desire, dignity, dominance, emotional ethics, emotional mismatch, Ethics, gun metaphor, hunger-metaphor, identity, inner conflict, inner law, Integrity, Intimacy., invisible rupture, longing, love, masculine restraint, misunderstanding, modern romance, moral injury, morality, non-consummation, philosophy, power, power dynamics, psychology, quiet violence, Refusal, rejection, restraint, restraint versus appetite, Ronie Dinosaur Chapter 127, self-control, silence, silence as violence, starvation, submission, surrender, trauma, unmet desire, unrecognized virtue, vulnerability, What Is Love.

Ronie Dinosaur Chapter 127 - What Is Love? A seat in the university lecture hall
always saved for me-
her Ronie, the only one allowed to sit.
She would wait in the room,
never calling, never texting, Read more from here...

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Ronie Dinosaur Chapter 126 – Murdered Three Times

Posted 2 months ago under DINOSAUR, Philosophy, Psychology Tagged: academic burnout, alcoholism, Alienation, broken ambition, circular fate, class violence, coercive education, courage misnamed, debt metaphor, detention, discipline as weapon, economic exploitation, emotional neglect, endurance, existential-fatigue, extinction metaphor, failure narrative, family betrayal, generational pressure, grief, hope collapse, identity erosion, institutional abuse, internalized blame, invisible labor, Isolation, loneliness, lost youth, love deprivation, masculinity crisis, memory loop, moral injury, Murdered, parental cruelty, rage, repetition compulsion, resignation, Ronie Dinosaur Chapter 126, self-destruction, self-prosecution, silence, silence as punishment, social exclusion, substance abuse, survival guilt, testimony, Three Times, time theft, trauma, wasted effort, witness without audience.

Ronie Dinosaur Chapter 126 - Murdered Three Times The first blade was duty, sharp and bright.
The second was silence, endless night.
The third was the bottle-mercy in disguise.
It drank the last light from my eyes.
Now only the echo of footsteps replies. Read more from here...

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Ronie Dinosaur Chapter 123 – Collapsed Twice

Posted 2 months ago under DINOSAUR, Philosophy, Psychology Tagged: accountability, addiction-context, adulthood, Agency, autobiographical, Autonomy, character, cold-clarity, collapse, collapse-narrative, Collapsed Twice, consequence, dignity, Ethics, existential, family-expectation, grief, human condition, identity, Introspection, Isolation, judgment, literary-poetry, lived-experience, masculinity, mental health, minimalism, money-and-loneliness, moral-neutrality, non-redemptive, perception, philosophy, pressure, psychological, realism, recovery, recovery-path, restraint, Ronie Dinosaur Chapter 123, Selfhood, silence, social-pressure, stoicism, survival, testimony, trauma, truth-telling, Value.

Ronie Dinosaur Chapter 123 – Collapsed Twice I collapsed twice in my life.
The first time was at twenty-one.
Family pressed in:
“Why aren’t you studying?
What are you even doing there? Read more from here...

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Ronie Dinosaur Chapter 117 – Canteen, First Year

Posted 2 months ago under DINOSAUR, Philosophy, Psychology Tagged: Absolute Zero, Betrayal, burden, Canteen, character, Childhood Scars, College Life, Courage, desire, devotion, discipline, emotional intelligence, Empty Stadium, Exile, Existentialism, fate, First Year, first-love, first-order truth, Ghosting, Gnosticism, Heartbreak, Inner Artist, Integrity, intent, loneliness, masculinity, memory, Penance, philosophy, Reconciliation, recovery, Redemption, rehab, resilience, respect, Ronie Dinosaur, Ronie Dinosaur Chapter 117, self-punishment, self-worth, Silent Gaze, Social Contract, solitude, Sovereignty, stoicism, substance abuse, survival, The Ledger, The Void, The Walk, trauma, truth, vulnerability.

Ronie Dinosaur Chapter 117 - Canteen, First Year So I stood in the canteen,
first-year,
the angriest young man on campus.
Armor on the outside,
an artist locked within. Read more from here...

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Ronie Dinosaur Chapter 110 – Die Hungry Rather Than Kneel

Posted 2 months ago under DINOSAUR, Philosophy, Psychology Tagged: addiction, Betrayal, bitterness, Bodybuilding, Boxer, Caretaking, Choice, Corona, Die Hungry, dignity, emotional-starvation, Engineering dropout, Father-son relationship, Financial success, Forging strength, grief, Hard work, Heart attack, honor, identity, Integrity, Iron character, Isolation, kneel, Lockdown, loneliness, longing, masculinity, Memories, Millionaire, Mother’s death, Names, No compromise, Nursing, Online dating, persistence, Poverty of soul, Pride, Public humiliation, purpose, raw, recovery, Redemption, rehab, rejection, resilience, Ronie Dinosaur, Ronie Dinosaur Chapter 110, Rust, Sacrifice, Scams, School rejection, Self-made, self-respect, sobriety, Social status, solitude, stoicism, success, survival, The past, The price of love, Thirty-seven, trauma, truth, Unfiltered, unrequited-love, walking alone, wealth, work-ethic.

Ronie Dinosaur Chapter 110 - Die Hungry Rather Than Kneel I was starving for affection-
simple human touch,
not just flesh-
when I considered paying a woman for sex.
It was the morning after my father’s heart attack, Read more from here...

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Ronie Dinosaur Chapter 105 — They Have Won

Posted 2 months ago under DINOSAUR, Philosophy, Psychology Tagged: alignment, Betrayal, Bloody but Unbowed, character, City of Absence, Clean Intent, cremation-ground, Dark Night of the Soul, dignity, Empty Bed, Existentialism, first-order truth, Ghost, Grave, Gutter-Stoic, Hero’s Journey, humiliation, injustice, Institutionalized, Integrity, Internal Victory, Interrogated Intent, Invictus, Isolation, loneliness, Loud Intent, male vulnerability, Martyrdom, modern-poetry, Moral Spine., Polite Murder, raw emotion, recovery, Refusing to Kneel, rehab, rejection, resilience, Ronie Dinosaur, Ronie Dinosaur Chapter 105, Scapegoat, sobriety, Social Death, Special One, survival, The Abyss, They, They Have Won, trauma, Unbowed, Used, William Ernest Henley, won.

Ronie Dinosaur Chapter 105 - They Have Won They have won.
Everyone.
Those who never knew me dragged me into the gutter-
blamed me, discarded me, murdered me,
then tossed me into rehab. Read more from here...

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Ronie Dinosaur Chapter 97 — Reflection: Misfired

Posted 2 months ago under DINOSAUR, Philosophy, Psychology Tagged: Artist vs Man, Branded Useless, College Memories, coming-of-age, Confessional, Consent Culture, desire, Disconnection, emotional intelligence, Emotional Void, Four Years of College, Fragmented Love, Heartbreak, Helipad Metaphor, High Character, Hourglass, Human Connection, identity, Integrity, Interior Monologue, Intimacy., justice, Literary Grit, Lust Train, Lust vs Love, Male Consent, male vulnerability, masculinity, Mirroring, Misfired, Misunderstood Men, Modern Dating, modern-poetry, Narrative Poetry, philosophical poetry, Psychological realism, Psychological Warfare, raw emotion, rejection, Resonance., respect, restraint, Ronie Dinosaur, self-knowledge, Self-Reflexive, Sexual Ethics, The Artist’s Voice, The Long Game, trauma.

Ronie Dinosaur Chapter 97 — Reflection: Misfired I was afraid-
how do I cup her face in my hands
and whisper, Stay quiet. 
Let me admire what I have.
She pressed closer. Read more from here...

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Ronie Dinosaur Chapter 96 – Stairway to Hell

Posted 2 months ago under DINOSAUR, Philosophy, Psychology Tagged: abstinence, Agency, ambiguity, attention, awakening, boundaries, college, consent, consequence, Control, desire, Detachment, discipline, distance, dominance, ego, Ethics, fallout, friendship, Hierarchy, humiliation, identity, irony, loneliness, loss, lust, masculinity, memory, miscommunication, narrative, Observation, perception, performance, power, Pride, reflection, Reputation, restraint, Ronie Dinosaur Chapter 96, rumor, self-myth, silence, Stairway to Hell, stairwell, status, temptation, transformation, trauma, vulnerability, youth.

Ronie Dinosaur Chapter 96 - Stairway to Hell As an engineering student with an analytical mind-trained in basic physics and mathematics, capable enough-my mind first studied her eyes in the college corridor.
She planted her right hand on the wall above my shoulder, stopping me mid-step as I began descending the stairs in the middle of the corridor.
Jovial, yet forceful.
Why wasn’t she afraid of Ronie?
She was just as tall as I was. Read more from here...

244 views

Ronie Dinosaur Chapter 78 – Back-to-Back Lightning

Posted 3 months ago under DINOSAUR, Mythopoetic, Philosophy, Psychology, Technology Tagged: Agency, Alienation, awakening, Back-to-Back, becoming, Body, character, confession, consent, Control, Defiance, desire, determinism, discipline, endurance, Existentialism, failure, gravity, humiliation, identity, journey, Laika, Lightning, masculinity, memory, myth, oath, obsession, orbit, philosophy, poetry, power, rejection, resolve, Ritual, Ronie Dinosaur Chapter 78, Sacrifice, scar, shame, solitude, stoicism, survival, Threshold, trauma, truth, violence, void, Walking, will, witness.

Ronie Dinosaur Chapter 78 - Back-to-Back Lightning Back-to-back idiocy-
two strikes that scorched the same sky.
The school one:
love at first sight in the morning,
rejected that very day, during recess. Read more from here...

495 views

Proof

Posted 3 months ago under DINOSAUR, Existential Rehabism, Philosophy, Psychology Tagged: accountability, aftermath, Agency, austerity, clarity, consciousness, discipline, embodiment, endurance, Integrity, Isolation, persistence, proof, realism, record, recurrence, Refusal, Resistance, resolve, Selfhood, survival, testimony, trauma, witness.

Title - Proof I kept torturing myself-
a revenge for which
I did not allow myself to live,
or to ask for the right to be human.
What happened, happened. Read more from here...

117 views