lived-experience – Read Poems aka Dinosaurs

No Such Girl Though — 10 December 2005

Posted 2 months ago under DINOSAUR, Philosophy, Psychology Tagged: 2005 diary, abandonment fear, adolescent trauma, artistic documentation, autobiographical poem, coming of age pain, creative survival, early authorship, early identity crisis, early poetry, emotional endurance, emotional honesty, emotional isolation, emotional residue, existential numbness, first love wound, first rejection, handwritten lyrics, inner child voice, innocence lost, lived-experience, loneliness imagery, love refusal, memory artifact, mental exhaustion, noncommercial art, obsessive repetition, personal archive, personal mythology, poetic artifact, private grief, psychological looping, raw songwriting, raw-confession, rejected confession, rejection memory, self-talk poetry, solitude themes, teenage heartbreak, time and decay, time capsule writing, trauma imprint, unpolished writing, unrequited-love, unsent song, vulnerability in art, yellowed pages, youth despair.

No Such Girl Though — 10 December 2005 From green and blue to stars in black,
I just can’t contact—
my shout can’t catch—
I am bound to react.
If she hates me, then it’s okay, because she does. Read more from here...

86 views

Ronie iz BaD Song – Oct 2005

Posted 2 months ago under DINOSAUR, Philosophy, Psychology Tagged: 2004 separation, 2005 writing, August 13 2005, autobiographical poem, basketball court, bodily awareness, campus life, canteen writing, college years, darkness and light, document not performance, early work, electric heart, emotional crisis, endurance, grief record, honest suffering, human fragility, internal monologue, Isolation, lived-experience, memory and trauma, origin text, personal archive, personal mythology, place-based writing, post-breakup writing, pre-internet expression, Psychological realism, raw-confession, refusal to disappear, repetition as coping, resilience, Ronie Dinosaur, Ronie iz BaD, Ronie persona, self-observation, solitude, song, spoken-word cadence, staying alive, survival document, time-stamped literature, unfiltered voice, unsanitized past, urban night, walking through pain, witness poetry, youth and despair.

Title: Ronie iz BaD [Verse 1] Nowhere am I caught red-handed.
My being has attempted such suicide.
Is there any meaning
in a dog’s bark thumping my red electrical heart, Read more from here...

215 views

Ronie Dinosaur Chapter 122 – Hibernation of the Self

Posted 2 months ago under DINOSAUR, Philosophy, Psychology Tagged: Agency, athlete, Autonomy, awakening, boundaries, character, collapse, consciousness, delayed-growth, dignity, discipline, emotional-austerity, endurance, Existentialism, Hibernation, identity, Integrity, internal-conflict, Introspection, Isolation, lived-experience, loss, memory, moral-awakening, non-romantic, personal-ethic, philosophy, realism, recovery, Refusal, rehab, rejection, resilience, restraint, Ronie Dinosaur Chapter 122, Self, self-examination, self-preservation, Selfhood, silence, stoicism, substance abuse, survival, time, trauma-processing, walking forward, withdrawal.

Ronie Dinosaur Chapter 122 - Hibernation of the Self I am not just what happened to me.
When you rejected your friend-
because you are a woman,
you had that right-
I felt insulted, Read more from here...

98 views

Ronie Dinosaur Chapter 123 – Collapsed Twice

Posted 2 months ago under DINOSAUR, Philosophy, Psychology Tagged: accountability, addiction-context, adulthood, Agency, autobiographical, Autonomy, character, cold-clarity, collapse, collapse-narrative, Collapsed Twice, consequence, dignity, Ethics, existential, family-expectation, grief, human condition, identity, Introspection, Isolation, judgment, literary-poetry, lived-experience, masculinity, mental health, minimalism, money-and-loneliness, moral-neutrality, non-redemptive, perception, philosophy, pressure, psychological, realism, recovery, recovery-path, restraint, Ronie Dinosaur Chapter 123, Selfhood, silence, social-pressure, stoicism, survival, testimony, trauma, truth-telling, Value.

Ronie Dinosaur Chapter 123 – Collapsed Twice I collapsed twice in my life.
The first time was at twenty-one.
Family pressed in:
“Why aren’t you studying?
What are you even doing there? Read more from here...

92 views

Hymn to Ronie Dinosaur

Posted 2 months ago under DINOSAUR, Mythopoetic, Philosophy, Psychology Tagged: abandonment, anti-hero, authenticity, bare life, depression, discipline, emotional honesty, endurance, existential, Existentialism, human condition, human witness, Hymn, identity, indie folk, inner strength, Integrity, Isolation, lived-experience, loneliness, loss, meaning, middle age, no romance, no salvation, perseverance, quiet defiance, realism, realism poetry, recovery, rehab, rejection, resilience, Ronie Dinosaur, sobriety, solitude, spoken word, stoicism, stripped hope, suffering, survival, testimony, truth, Walking, walking forward, witness.

Hymn to Ronie Dinosaur Verse 1 In a life monstrous, vast, and cruel beyond measure,
I’ve climbed Himalayan heights, plunged to trench’s dark treasure.
Wrong place, wrong time-life’s brutal lesson taught,
Power, money, status fade; innocence dearly bought. Read more from here...

144 views

Ronie Dinosaur Chapter 101 – Life’s High

Posted 2 months ago under DINOSAUR, Philosophy, Psychology Tagged: addiction metaphor, addiction to life, authenticity, clarity through suffering, confession without apology, delayed fulfillment, desire vs consumption, dignity in hunger, disciplined longing, emotional hunger, emotional precision, empty abundance, endurance, existential choice, existential poetry, high and crash, hunger of the heart, hunger-metaphor, integrity over abundance, intensity ethic, internal exile, life as intoxication, Life’s High, life’s wager, lived-experience, loneliness with agency, masculine solitude, menu illusion, moral appetite, one-woman vow, patience as resistance, philosophical romance, poetic minimalism, refusal of consolation, refusal of substitutes, rehab clarity, rejection of excess, restraint, romantic absolutism, romantic austerity, romantic realism, Ronie Dinosaur Chapter 101, scarcity of meaning, selective desire, self-awareness, self-mythology, solitude by choice, starvation as stance, uncompromising desire, unfulfilled promise.

Ronie Dinosaur Chapter 101 - Life’s High Life, too, is an addiction, my friend-
when it rises,
don’t ask what state it leaves you in.
When it crashes,
people lie scattered on the streets, sunk in depression. Read more from here...

132 views

Ronie Dinosaur Chapter 99 – Commitment Issues

Posted 2 months ago under DINOSAUR, Philosophy, Psychology Tagged: abandonment wound, academic setback, acceptance without closure, bitterness restrained, Commitment Issues, confessional prose, delayed adulthood, emotional abandonment, emotional exile, emotional neglect, emotional-austerity, endurance, first love aftermath, forbidden relationship, generational pressure, institutional cruelty, life interruptions, lived-experience, loneliness, lost youth, love without permission, loyalty without assurance, masculine-vulnerability, memory and regret, moral injury, obedience vs desire, persistence without reward, personal collapse, psychological fatigue, quiet despair, reflective grief, refusal of hope, rejection trauma, resignation, rolling stone metaphor, romantic realism, Ronie Dinosaur Chapter 99, slow erosion, small-town romance, social stagnation, solitude as habit, stalled potential, stoic suffering, survival narrative, unchosen loneliness, unrequited-love, waiting without promise.

Ronie Dinosaur Chapter 99 - Commitment Issues For about a year, you loved me like oxygen-
giving me life, never asking me to stay alive,
never asking me to exhale and reach for you again with the next breath.
A small-town girl, lovely enough to be a prize
and good enough to be kept as a reward for a good life. Read more from here...

112 views

Ronie Dinosaur Chapter 98 — Nothing

Posted 2 months ago under DINOSAUR, Philosophy, Psychology Tagged: authenticity, bitterness refined, desire vs fulfillment, disenchanted love, emotional neglect, emotional-austerity, emotional-starvation, emptiness, existential hunger, existential poetry, finality, hunger of the soul, hunger-metaphor, inner exile, internal exile, intimacy hunger, lived-experience, loneliness, longing, love as sustenance, masculine-vulnerability, modern confessional, moral injury, moral solitude, nihilistic clarity, nothing, nothingness, outsider perspective, poetic despair, poetic minimalism, poetic truth, post-romantic realism, psychological scars, quiet rage, refusal of compromise, refusal of substitutes, rehab narrative, resignation, restraint, romantic disillusionment, Ronie Dinosaur Chapter 98, scarcity mindset, self-awareness, slow self-destruction, social alienation, stoic despair, survivor’s guilt, unmet promises, unrequited-love, wounded integrity.

Ronie Dinosaur Chapter 98 — Nothing My heart was clean, yet I was blamed-
and I remained hungry.
Everyone drank deep, ate full,
and now sleeps well,
satisfied in the warm hush of having enough. Read more from here...

96 views

Teenage Crush

Posted 2 months ago under DINOSAUR, Philosophy, Psychology Tagged: acceptance, adolescent-psychology, awkwardness, bittersweet, class-dynamics, coming-of-age, confusion, desire, emotional clarity, emotional honesty, emotional-literacy, everyday-moments, first-love, grounded-voice, human-fallibility, humiliation-without-drama, identity formation, Innocence, irony, lived-experience, longing, lost-time, masculinity, memory-as-wound, memory-fragments, nostalgia, observational poetry, past-self, personal-history, quiet-pain, realism, realism-over-romance, reflection, rejection, restraint, school-life, self-awareness, shyness, sincerity, social-pressure, teenage-memory, tenderness, understated-tragedy, unrequited-love, unsentimental-love, vulnerability, youthful-ego.

Title - Teenage Crush Today it returned again-
a heavy scoop from those years,
my first amateur crush.
Love at first sight,
third day of school. Read more from here...

118 views

Quantum

Posted 2 months ago under DINOSAUR, Mythopoetic, Philosophy, Psychology Tagged: authenticity, Betrayal, character, Choice, Coherence, consciousness, contemporary poetry, ethical critique, ethical endurance, existential, first-order truth, honesty, Human nature, Introspection, life lessons, life philosophy, lived-experience, metaphoric poetry, modern society, moral philosophy, observational poetry, opportunism, performative behavior, personal integrity, personal sovereignty, philosophy, power dynamics, resilience, self-accountability, self-reflection, societal critique.

Title – Quantum The world flaunts trophies bright-
achievements, gold, titles won in fight
by climbing on backs, stepping over the fallen-
and calls it greatness, loud and swollen.
It is not. Read more from here...

179 views